We all need to find our purpose, something to keep us going. This happens to be mine.
Among all the things I do day by day, this is the kind of work that fulfills me. I built “StrayVanity” into what I would consider to be a success and I am proud of that. But I felt as if I had restricted myself. “StrayVanity” became a really happy place full of color and story. And as life becomes difficult, it felt at times I was disingenuous in continuing that work. I’d found all this new creative energy but felt I had nowhere to put it. It just wouldn't fit with the themes I had created with “StrayVanity”. I needed a new home, somewhere to put these thoughts and emotions. So I created “EXALTE”.
I had no idea what this would become, and a lot of me is still figuring that out. Even now I race in my head about what this is, and who it's for. It's for me right? But I know everyone will see this too…
It's a strange thought, but that very quickly made me place false expectations on myself. So I knew, if everyone is watching, I better make something good, and do it fast. Because if I don't do it fast, I have nothing to post, people will forget about me, and everything I have built, will not have mattered. I was scared and charged blindly in any direction that felt right. Everything I made was crap. I felt if I didn't get it right the first time, I then had lost the ability to make something good at all. The first versions of "May" were some of the worst characters I've ever made. They were all so rushed and half assed, and I never sat down to really think about what I was doing. What I wanted to do was make myself proud. So I took my time, studied, practiced, and finally found her on May 4rth at 1:34am. It was that month that I finally felt like I could do this. So I named her "May" so that I would not forget the hope she brings me.
With "May" I now had a character to echo my thoughts. I had a voice again and a character with enough personality and emotion to portray that. And even though it took till now to finally get that out. I think I am in a place where I should be proud of what I have accomplished. To me it still doesn't feel like much, but at least I tried at all.